found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
