so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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