her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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