They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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