I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
