I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He? As in you personified your dick?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
