the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
