Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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