If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
