i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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