After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
