Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
