tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
