OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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