Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Your penis caused this!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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