Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
