so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize