the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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