She announced her abortion via fbk
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
