I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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