somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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