You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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