when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
