Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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