Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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