Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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