Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
