pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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