dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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