I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
