i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
