I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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