Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
