no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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