Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize