Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
