Don't make out with my wife yet
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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