one two three fourrrrnication!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
