I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize