I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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