As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
