Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
