member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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