I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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