Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
