escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
