shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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