when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
