i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
