FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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