You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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