3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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