i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
