I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
