Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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