ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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