Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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