I have demons in me.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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