yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
