I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
