i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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