I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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