We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
