Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize