I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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