Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
