lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I supernannyed him into submission
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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