he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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