just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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