I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
