can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize