That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Randomize
