We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
