So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize
