will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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