the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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