True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
