i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i will never coherently bang her
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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