It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
